I’m not going to be talking about essential oils today. Or skincare. Or cleaning products. Or chemicals.
Today I’m just going to talk about me.
Well, actually, I’m going to talk about what God is doing in me, because that is much more worthwhile of your attention.
I struggle a lot with control. I think some of it comes from being the oldest of 9 and feeling the need to be responsible and in charge. I think some of it is hereditary. Regardless of what causes it, it’s there and it’s strong.
I’m a planner. I’m a list maker. I’m a leader. I’m an organizer. I’m a creator. I’m a coordinator.
I’m a controller.
When I lose control, my. world. falls. apart.
Why is that? Why is it that when things don’t go as I planned, I am crushed? Why does it destroy me when I am unable to determine the outcome of a situation? Why do unknowns terrify me?
It’s taken me awhile to figure it out. It’s taken a lot of prayer, tears, and anger at God. A lot of questioning and what felt like lack of answers. But God is faithful, and when we are ready and listening He will always answer.
I refuse to believe that God’s unknown plan could be better than my known plan.
I don’t believe that I will truly be fulfilled and find my joy in His will.
The gospel says that on my own I am dead, but in Christ I am made alive and am dead to sin. The gospel says that I am fully known and fully loved. The gospel says there is a God who gave His perfect Son to save my soul. The gospel says that same God has a plan for my life that is wilder than I could ever dream.
Control has become an idol works its way into every area of my life and won’t let go. The gospel sets me free.