All the things I’m not

Can I rant a little? I promise not to do this often, but after all it is my blog so I think I get to let loose every once in awhile.

Right now, right in this moment, I am in a very strange stage in life. I’m not in highschool, I’m not in college, I haven’t moved out, I’m not married, I’m not working a “real” job. There are a lot of things I’m “not”. And somehow those are the only things people care about. Whenever I meet someone new or even chat with an old friend or family member these are the questions I get. First they want to know what college I go to, and when I answer with “I’m actually not in school right now, I’m just working,” they naturally ask “So where do you work?” and that, my friends, is where things get complicated. See, by the time I explain that I have my own small business and am in the process of building a second business while doing some babysitting/nannying several days a week, they hear this… “I don’t have a real job and I’m not going to college because I’m lazy and I don’t really know what I’m doing with my life.”

How do I know this? Because about halfway through explaining what I do, their eyes glaze over and as soon as I am done speaking they ask “So… do you have college plans then?”

You know what? No. No I don’t. I’m sorry that what I do doesn’t fit the conventional mold. I’m sorry that I’m not following societal norm. I’m sorry that the possibility of being yet another unemployed college graduate with a pile of debt doesn’t sound as appealing as working for myself and doing what I love, which BY THE WAY I am doing quite successfully if anyone cares. 

Yeah, I actually make money. No, I don’t sit around at home all day. Believe it or not, I work. A lot. I put countless hours into my work and I’m proud of what I do. 

I didn’t pick this route because I’m lazy. I didn’t pick it because I’m intimidated by college. I picked it because I have bigger dreams than following the exact same route every other 20-something takes. I picked it because it is my God given desire to be a wife and mother and to be able to stay home and care for my family, and this is a path that will allow me to easily do that. And I am sick and tired of being told that’s wrong or that I am selling myself short.

I’m not the only girl I know who is in this place, and I think it’s time we speak up. There may be a lot of things we are not, but I’m ready to hear people talk about what we are.

**disclaimer– I would like to add that while I am ranting about the judgement I have felt from others, I am not by any means trying to cast judgement on those who ARE attending school and are pursuing higher education. There is absolutely a need for that within certain fields and I am thankful for the doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc who are following their calling which requires a college degree. I would like to see ALL the judgement cast aside, both towards those attending college and those who are not.**


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7 responses to “All the things I’m not

  1. christine

    I have been feeling the same way and feel like a shut in because of it.
    I barely want to talk to anyone anymore bc of the ‘questions’ I’m going to be asked… annoying!!!
    I’m so glad I read your blog… I know I’m not the ONLY person out there feeling this way
    Good luck to you
    And thanks for all of the info you post regarding essential oils….I just started getting into using them and love it!!!

  2. Nanny

    Not everybody just somebodies. You go girl. I am proud of you just for being you. XOXO

  3. Autumn

    I am really thankful for all you do, Carolyn, and I’m right beside you 😉

  4. You have probably outlined this elsewhere in the blog, but what are your businesses?

    P.S. I think you are awesome for doing things unconventionally. I’m not sure if it’s a generational divide or if it’s just the difference between young adults and their parents, but we are expected to hit certain benchmarks within certain timeframes. If it’s not your job or college, it’s getting married and having kids. I know it’s frustrating, but ignore that crap. You know what you need to do with your life way better than anyone else does.

    • Brantley, I have been teaching horseback riding lessons and running horse camps for about 7 years now and I recently started making natural bath & body products that I sell on my etsy shop and at festivals and craft fairs. It’s not quite as weather dependent as teaching riding lessons which is nice!!

      Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate the affirmation! Thankfully my parents are 110% supportive of my choices, it’s just everybody else that gives me grief! Haha

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